Take it From the Top
by Shi No. Miko
Summary: If you took Inuyasha, and made them film it, image the utter randomness that would occur. Well, I took the effort to type that randomness for you!
1. Default Chapter

Okay…new fic idea!  I guess being hit over the head with a bottle of shampoo in the shower is an inspiration or something.  (A/N to self: do so more often.)  Well…although this isn't the idea I've been talking about doing recently, I like the idea, so I'm writing it.  However, it will take pretty long to post chapters in most cases, I think, since I have to spent about an hour per episode to get the information I need, and then longer to think and write the chapter.

Wow, this sounds like more work than previously anticipated.

But, let me explain a little betterlier.  This is a bloopers fic.  I'm going to re-watch each episode-so if I get far enough, it'll be spoilers-and pick random moments and scenes, and make a blooper-maybe more than one-for it.  So…well, there isn't much else to say, except I don't own, ya, ya.

For this particular chapter-and whenever they start a new season-I'm going to do the bloopers for the opening and ending.  And while I wait for the first one, I need something to do anyway.

Read and review, kudasai!

~*~

Part 1: Change the World Opening

Scene 1: Kagome running into the well house, down the stairs, and vaulting into the well.

Take 1:

Kagome runs down the stairs, and prepares to jump into the well.  As she jumps off the bottom step, her shoe gets caught for a moment, and she jumps a little too far.  She flips through the air, and hits the camera, which spins wildly around off the set, to show the rest of the crew laughing hysterically.  You can faintly hear Inuyasha yell, "Kagome, _never_ try out for gymnastics!"

Take 2:

Kagome runs down the stairs again, and manages to not trip.  As she vaults into the air, her hand slips off the edge of the well, and she fall shorts of the well, whacking her chin against the rim.

Scene: Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha are fighting in the woods.

Take 1:  Sesshoumaru lunges for Inuyasha, who backs up a little too far, and Sesshoumaru is forced to reach a little farther to make it look realistic.  Due to the unstable mud, he slips, and rams directly into Inuyasha, knocking him over.  The sudden lack of resistance causes Fluffy to continue to move, and he hits a tree head on.

Take 2:  Inuyasha draws out Tetsusaiga, and holds it behind his head.  However, the sword is still a little heavy in his hands, and he accidentally releases it, and it slides out of his hands off to the right of the set-up.  There is a loud scream, and Inuyasha looks over and winces, his ears dropping onto his head.  "_That_ really must have sucked…"

Take 3:  Inuyasha jumps forward and attacks with the Tetsusaiga, but once again, the sword slips out of his hands.  It flies forwards, and a dull thud is heard.  The camera follows it, and you see Fluffy with the sword hitting him dead center in the chest.  Inuyasha murmurs, "Shit…" and begins to run in the opposite direction, and Fluffy chases him, trying to hit him with his whip.

Scene: Miroku, Sango, and Shippo are jumping from boat to boat while being chased by a large mob of demons.

Take 1:  Miroku jumps a little too early, and Sango hits the boat with no weight to balance her out.  The boat goes straight up and down, dumping her in the water.  Miroku, who has _now_ jumped, hits the water, and a few seconds later, you see them all come up together, Shippo on top of Sango, Sango on top of Miroku, and Miroku trying to keep his head above water.

Take 2:  Miroku turns around and opens his kazanna, and Sango picks up Shippo and jumps.  As she releases her boomerang, it gets caught in the draft from the tunnel, and moves toward Miroku.   Seeing this, he tries to jump, forgetting to seal his hand.  The boomerang continues to chase him, and hits him into the water, where you can see vast amounts disappearing.  Sango shakes her head.  "Can we get an encore on that one?"

Scene: Inuyasha stands in the woods, and is approached by Kagome.  She fades out, and when he turns to face her, Kikyo appears behind him.  He jumps at her and she fades too, and an arrow is fired into his chest, which he tries to pull out, but is in too much pain to do so.

Take 1:  Inuyasha, not sure when exactly Kikyo is disappearing, turns around too quickly and jumps on her.  She is pushed against the tree, and the arrow that was supposed to hit him zooms by behind him, and you hear another scream.  Kikyo pushes Inuyasha off and starts laughing as Kagome walks over and warns Inuyasha that the next time an arrow goes zooming past her head, she'll sit him.

Take 2:  Everything goes according to plan until Kagome, who is shooting the arrow this time, aims incorrectly, and ends up totally missing Inuyasha, while he just hangs in mid-air waiting to be shot.  You can hear Kikyo in the background, giving Kagome a thirty second crash course, and three more arrows zoom by before one hits Inuyasha.  He doesn't react to it, and yells, "Girl, this is why we let Kikyo take the shots!"

Scene: Inuyasha standing on a cliff, while birds fly past him.

Take 1:  One of the birds miscalculates the wind, and flies directly into Inuyasha's back.  This sends him off balance, and he falls of the edge of the cliff.  You hear several loud curses and yells as rocks are dislodged on the way down.

Scene: Inuyasha walking through the forest while cherry blossoms fall…

Take 1:  As we zoom in on his feet, a bowling ball suddenly runs over his foot.  He begins hopping up and down and cursing, while Kagome yells, "Sorry!  I was just getting bored…don't _look _at me that way!"

Scene Inuyasha walking on the beach, Kirara flies by in tiger mode carrying the rest of the group, while Kagome leans over and offers Inuyasha a hand, and picks his up.

Take 1:  As Kirara is coming down the beach, you see from Sango's face she has just been violated by Miroku.  She turns around and slaps him, and he falls off.  This throws off Kirara, and she zooms up into the air, so everyone falls off, falling into the ocean, on Inuyasha, and face-first into the sand.

Take 2:  As Kagome leans over to offer Inuyasha a hand, she slips and falls off.  She lands about five feet in front of him, and he begins to crack up.  She growls at him, and begins sitting him, soon creating a small hole.

Take 3:  As Kagome manages to pick Inuyasha up, it's evident her hold isn't too good.  As they get higher, her grip fails her, and Inuyasha grabs on to Kirara's leg.  This annoys the cat demon, and she-for a lack of a better term-bucks him off.  You see him land in the ocean with a large splash.  Kagome winces.  "Oh well…his clothes were getting dirty anyway."

Part 2: My Will Closing

Scene: Kagome is sitting in a Ferris wheel, looking down at the snow.

Take 1:  As she is sitting there, the thing shakes menacing.  She looks up, and then covers her ears as an ear-splitting shriek is heard and the camera grows unfocused and swings.  When the camera focuses again, you can see Inuyasha sitting inside, looking out the window, and a large hole in the ceiling of the thing.  "…What's so great about this, Kagome?"

Scene: Kikyo is walking through a body of shallow water.

Take 1:  As she is walking, she slips and falls.  The water splashes everywhere, and you can see that a fish is now tangled in her hair.

Scene: Sango is riding on the back of a hay cart.

Take 1:  After hitting a big bump, she falls out of the cart.  She gets back up, and runs after it, chasing her boomerang.  It hits another bump, and hits her in the stomach and knocks her over.

Scene: Kagome riding in an overly crowded metro.

Take 1:  As she is standing there, looking depressed, she suddenly straightens and blushes.  She looks furiously around, and then yells, "Miroku!  Get your ass out here, I know that was you!"

~*~

Okay…I admit; there isn't too much funny stuff that can happen in opening or a closing.  But the next one will be…interesting…I get to have fun with all the characters!  And wait until I get to episode 38!  Muhahahahaha!

Just as a note, I'm doing this off the Japanese version.  If they actually say something in the dub that's what I write, then they have a _warped_ sense of humor.  Well, see ya next time!


	2. The Girl Who Overcame Time and The Boy W...

Well...doing episode one of Inuyasha! Yay! If you haven't seen it, you-A) shouldn't even be reading Inuyasha fanfics, B) might not want to read this one, because I'm going through the plot...it'll kinda ruin it. And you _want_ to watch these. Go. Do it now. And thank me later.

As usual, the only stuff I actually own out of all of this is the stuff I made up myself. Situations, characters, places, all that stuff. It's all Rumiko Takahashi's. My goddess. I wanna write funny stuff like _that_, and then people be would be like, "Hey, we'll give you money!" And I'd do a little happy dance and scare them away. Oh well. On to the fic!

And most of the time, this is ungodly accurate, seeing as this is my third time watching what I have of the series through. And I have the six boxed sets and the movie. But every so often, they do something that doesn't happen until later, like using the sitting power before it's technically there...just deal with it. It's funnier. And I'm not trying to be perfect, I'm being me. Crazy. And lazy.

Most definitely lazy.

And as another note...no, I'm not late, by the way, but most of this I did from looking at screen-caps and saying, "Oh, right, that's what happened." So if I'm a little off...blame my memory.

* * *

Episode One

Scene 1: Inuyasha breaks through the nets, and jumps through the village to the shrine, dodging stuff as he's going before breaking and entering the temple. He steals the Shikon no Tama, gets fired at with more arrows, and jumps away as the place explodes. He proclaims his intentions to become a "real ghost," and continues out of town.

Take 1: Inuyasha jumps out of the forest, and the nets come with him. As he tries to break them, they tangle and totally fail to snap. Unable to move, Inuyasha falls back down. "Holy shiiiittttt...!"

Take 2: Successfully breaking the ropes this time, Inuyasha is jumping through the town and dodging. Sadly for him, someone has better aim than they should. A net nails him and spins around effectively, pinning his arms to his sides and his body to the wooden structure he was on top of. The camera drops out of focus, and you hear several loud voices yelling, "How are we gonna get him down?"

"Sorry about that!"

"Nice shot, why are you wasting your talent here?"

"Get me down, you assholes!"

Finally, after ten minutes of chaos, you hear Kagome yell, "Osuwari!" A few people wonder why he was wearing the beads, and he angrily points out- once he's no longer dizzy-that if he hadn't been wearing it, he would have been eating them right then and there. They shut up.

Take 3: After managing to get out of the nets and through the town, the hanyou makes to all the way to the temple and zooms down at the roof to break it. However, today is obvious the day that all half-dog demons who are named Inuyasha should have stayed inside and locked all their doors and windows and never left their house again. Sadly, he didn't follow astrology. (A/N: Go listen to _Horoscope for Today_ by Weird Al.) He zoomed down, hit the shrine roof, and bounced. "Itai-itai-itai...my _head_..."

Take 7: He finally made it. After many tries, and many un-funny and therefore not worth mentioning bloopers, he made it to the temple, and broke through the roof (probably because by then it was too weak to take his body weight being thrown against it.). Putting his sleeve in front of his mouth so the dust wouldn't choke him to death, he grabbed the Shikon no Tama. The door burst open, and he paused for a moment too long. The arrows flew at him, and he jumped, fumbling the jewel. He couldn't keep a tight enough hold, and it fell. As he grabbed at it, an arrow hit it, and it shattered. He landed. "Oh, shit...we're never gonna find another one of those." He looked at the archer who had hit it, who was removing his hood. "You're buying ano-_Kagome_?! How the hell did you get cast as an extra?"

Take 10: Finally, Inuyasha manages to jump out of the roof, and the Shikon jewel remains totally intact. As he's going through the air, he says, "With this I can become a real ghost..." He frowns, kinda of wondering why he would become a ghost. He wasn't going to die. As he continued, a large sheet drops on him. From above you hear a random stagehand's voice, "Thought you could use a little help becoming a ghost, dog-boy..." He glances down at his script. "Oh, that _is_ the real line? I thought you were a youkai?" He looks down in time to see Inuyasha jump at him and knock him off the catwalk.

Scene 2: Inuyasha jumps past a tree, and Kikyo fires an arrow, which hits his shoulder and pins him to the tree. He drops the Shikon in surprise, calls her a bitch and then becomes unconscious. Kikyo stumbles to the jewel, trailing blood, as a large crowd surrounds her and begs her to bandage her wound. Kikyo tells Kaede she won't live and asks her to burn her and the jewel. The scene ends with her being burnt.

Take 1: Kikyo aims up her shot wrong. We all mess up sometimes, and her shot just goes a little too far to the left. Inuyasha blinks in surprise as he is not sealed to the tree and continues to move, eventually running into some random person and knocking over a lemonade stand. Kikyo's arrow continues to go forward-since all objects in motion tend to stay in motion- and out of sight. There is a loud screaming noise, and Kaede-baba is seen running in random directions, the arrow firmly embedded in her eye. Kikyo drops the bow in surprise and stares. Kagome walks onstage and pats her on the back. "Ano...daijobu...I'm sure she'll look great with an eye patch..."

Take 2: Kikyo, now a little upset by the discovery that Kaede-bachan will be forced to wear an eye patch for the rest of her life, has lost confidence in herself, despite everyone telling her it's fine. She fires her arrow again, and misses her target-again. Only she does hit Inuyasha- just his leg. He blinks, and his momentum causes him to swing, ending up upside down with his leg pinned to the tree. "Kikyo...maybe Kagome oughta try once..."

Take 3: With Kagome shooting, no one is at all confident. But as she pulls back the string with an evil smirk, Kikyo yells from offstage, "Kagome, try to look serious!" The arrow twangs, and Kagome looks off in annoyance. There's a yelp of pain, and her attention snaps back to the tree.

"Itai!! My liver!" (A/N: Spleen is too overused.)

Take 6: Kikyo has ousted Kagome from her temporary job and is shooting again, much to everyone's thankfulness. Closing her eyes with worry as she fires, she manages to nail Inuyasha exactly on his shoulder. However, his eyes are also clenched, from memories of pain after crossing the tree, and his grip of the jewel doesn't loosen. He realizes he isn't moving, winces, and just throws the jewel, hoping it will look good. However, he throws it too hard, and it nails the camera, which instantly breaks into static.

Take 8: Having finally perfected the beginning of the scene, the camera changes angles and Inuyasha stalks off to ice his bruises. Kikyo stumbles over to the jewel and picks it up, her hands slick with blood. Some begins to drip onto the Shikon no Tama, and she stares intently at it. Little Kaede runs up, and Kikyo turns to speak to her, accidentally gripping the bead too tightly. The little girl leans in close to see the bead. Because of the blood that's dripping onto it, it was become slippery. And since Kikyo was holding it too tightly, the pressure causes the bead to shoot out of her hand and into little Kaede's face. The little girl grabs onto her eye, and begins screaming and running around, exactly like Kaede-baba.

Take 9: Now with little Kaede wearing an eye patch, Kikyo holds onto the bead very gently and passes it on with a great deal of pain. The little girl holds onto the bead very tightly, afraid that she'll mess up her first acting job. As Kikyo begins to talk, there is a loud snapping noise. They all pause and look down at the Shikon bead, which has snapped again. The camera swings away, and the director can be heard swearing. "We don't have many of these freaking things left! You all need to stop breaking them!" Kagome can be heard comforting the crying child.

Take 10: With both the young girl and Kikyo terrified of messing up again, the bead is treated like the sacred jewel it's supposed to be, which adds to the effect because both of them are shaking throughout the whole scene. The passing of the jewel goes smoothly, and someone in the surrounding crowd sighs loudly. "_Man_! I thought they'd never get this scene to run smoothly!" The actors don't move for a moment, but Kikyo begins to twitch. The man at fault realizes his error and begins backing away. Kikyo turns and jumps at him, throttling him and screaming obscenities. Everyone slowly backs away, and eventually paramedics are forced to arrive.

Take 15: After Kikyo has been dragged off because of 'mental instability,' Kagome is again forced to take her place. She grumbles about getting extra for it, but then proceeds to do an okay job, handing off the Shikon perfectly the first time. As she takes the dramatic fall, however, she fails to make sure that the ground beneath her is free of debris. Kagome is taken off the set for a few hours with a mild headache and a rock-like imprint in the side of her head.

Take 19: After waiting a few hours, and calming Kikyo down, they finally manage to complete the scene without any errors. Everyone breathes a big sigh of relief, when the camera man lifts a rag to clean something off the camera. He blinks a few times and then looks at the director. "Uh, sir, we're gonna need a re-take."

"...Why?"

"Camera's not on."

Take 23: As they've finally gotten the first part of the scene down perfectly, all that's left is to watch Kikyo be burned. As she sits there, with special effect flames surrounding her, she's still twitching slightly. Abruptly, she sneezes, and flies backwards into the people creating the special effects. There's a lot of loud crashing and screaming, and then utter silence. Someone very quietly uses their cell to call for more paramedics.

Scene 3: Kagome and her grandfather are in their shrine, looking at mini- Shikon key chains that Kagome says are out of style. Buyo plays with them, and Kagome is given her birthday present-a mummified demon's hand. She feeds it to Buyo. Then they eat and introduce her life through a series of scenes with her and her friends.

Take 2: After being forced to wait a day for Kagome, who still is slightly dizzy from throwing her head onto a rock, is a little out of it. As Jii- chan blabbers on about the Shikon shard, she doesn't pay too much attention. He pauses for a moment, waiting for her to say her line. She slowly blinks. "...Is this on the test?"

Take 4: After finally getting Kagome to remember her lines, she finally is supposed to play with Buyo, which she was looking forward to doing. As she's holding the Shikon key chain out, Buyo stares at it intently. Kagome giggles and begins swinging it back and forth, while Buyo continues to stare at it. After five or so minutes of swinging the key chain, she realizes something is wrong and looks up. Everyone is staring intently at the jewel. Kagome sighs. "Damn the power of shiny things..."

Take 5: After knocking everyone on the head and shocking them out of the amazing power of shiny things, filming resumes. Buyo does his adorable cute stretching thing, and Jii-chan is nearly moved to tears. Kagome requests her birthday present, and happily rips it apart. She picks it up with a horrified look on her face, and the sneezes. The director cuts it, and Kagome throws the thing on the ground, sneezing multiple times. Everyone blinks as she almost instantly breaks out in hives.

Take 6: After trading in Kikyo for Kagome, with some comments about how lucky they are that the two can be reversed, she does a good job acting until she opens the present. She opens it and stares in perfect horror, but makes no move to pick it up. Someone gives her a silent off-stage cue, and she shrieks. "I'm not touching some-some-some dead hand!" Jii-chan goes into a spiel about what it is and she throws the box at him and runs off stage to go wash her hands. Jii-chan glowers at her back.

"No respect these days...when I was little, we respected our elders! If my o-Jii-sama were to give me such an excellent present, I would fall on my hands and knees and worship the ground he walked upon for weeks! And now days, the young ones throw the things at you and then run off! No respect, no respect at all. Why, I can tell you..."

Take 7: After finding some sort of gloves for Kikyo to wear, they resume filming. Again. As Kikyo opens the box with a slightly scared look, Buyo suddenly pounces, grabs the hand in his teeth, and runs away. Kikyo watches him with confusion. "He's fast for a fat cat." Some cast members begin chasing it around. "We only have one of these! Catch the stupid cat!"

Take 9: After finally getting Buyo to wait to grab the hand, they begin filtering through scenes of Kagome's daily life. Souta ending up choking though, and they have to cut that scene short so he can visit the ER for a while.

Take 10: Still continuing the series of views of Kagome's life, the camera cuts to a lovely scene of her shrine. Then it cuts to a scene of traffic in the city. A car speeds through the nearby light, ignoring the 'filming in process' sign and blows by the camera. The camera spins around, knocking the cameraman off its stand and leaving it filming blue sky as people panic and surround him.

Scene 4: Kagome goes into the well shrine to find Buyo, because Souta is afraid to. The centipede demon emerges and pulls Kagome into the well, and licks her. Kagome blasts her and then floats to the other side of the well.

Take 1: Kagome, who is deep in thought, doubtlessly contemplating the chances of her being allergic to mummified kappa hands and deciding it's a good thing she didn't decide to try out for Aya's part in Ayashi no Ceres, totally ignores the well she's supposed to enter and walks past it. She continues walking and ends up slamming her face into a camera stand a few feet away. She glowers at it and lets loose a stream of curses that causes Inuyasha to clap. He gets sat for his sarcasm, and the two begin having one of their arguments. The director sighs and lets everyone break for lunch. (A/N: Everyone should go watch Ayashi no Ceres anyway. It's a good series.)

Take 2: Totally focused this time, Kagome performs her part well, coming into the well with a slight scowl, scolding Souta for playing in it. Then she pauses and blinks. "...Um, Souta, isn't Buyo supposed to be..." Souta turns and blinks at the fat cat, who is sitting right in front of him and swishing his tail happily. "...in the well?"

Take 4: Kagome and Souta convince Buyo to go play in the well with a well- placed mouse, and Kagome and Souta act their part well, like real brother and sister. Kagome moves slowly down, looking at the well with a mixture of fright and confusion, when Buyo suddenly jumps down from the ceiling, landing on her head, holding a dead rat in his mouth. Kagome and Souta don't move for a moment, and then she screams and turns to run, trips on the stairs, and falls down the stairs, hitting her head against the well.

Take 9: Finally getting Buyo to be a good kitty, the well explodes correctly and the centipede lady grabs onto the Kagome, who releases Buyo. Buyo, though, seems intrigued by the demon, and jumps up, sinking his claws into her side. She shrieks and disappears, dropping Kagome a few feet. Everyone glowers at Buyo, who blinks and then begins cleaning his paw off.

Take 10: After some discussion, they decide to throw Buyo off and let Inuyasha catch him so the cat can't cause more problems. This works well, aside from Inuyasha's obvious dislike for the cat. Kagome is pulled into the well, and the scene plays out well, until Kagome's 'mystical powers' begin firing off randomly, causes random bright flashes and a lot of yelling.

Scene 5: Kagome is scared for a moment, climbs out of the well, wanders around lost for a few minutes, and then sees 'her tree.' She runs to it and discovers Inuyasha, pinned to it. She climbs up and rubs his ears, and is then discovered by men from the local village.

Take 1: Kagome does her shivering and thinking bit, and then grabs a hold of the vine and begins to haul herself out. However, a few feet off the ground, she is too tired to continue, and holds onto the vine for a moment to get a break. The vine abruptly snaps and she falls back down, wincing and cursing. "Man, Kagome," Inuyasha comments from off the set, "you have a _foul_ mouth." He runs away before divine punishment can rain down upon him in the form of being slammed into the ground.

Take 2: They get Kikyo, who has more arm muscles, to climb out of the well for Kagome. They allow Kikyo to film the rest of the scene, up to where she sees Inuyasha. Then they switch Kagome back in, and let her climb up to Inuyasha, who is trying very hard not to be bothered by the arrow. This arrow isn't real-he refused to be shot again-it's only actually attached to his clothes, but it looks good enough. As Kagome climbs, she momentarily slips, and grass onto the arrow for her balance. She rips it directly off of his clothes and falls off the root. Inuyasha starts laughing, and quickly gets sat and ends up on top of her.

Take 6: After practicing her climbing, Kagome successfully makes it up the root, although Inuyasha does wince a little out of instinct. Kagome slowly reaches up and begins rubbing his ears. Inuyasha's eyes snap open and he starts laughing hysterically. Kagome takes a step back and falls off the root, and Inuyasha kneels over and nearly falls off from laughing so hard.

Take 8: After sitting around and rubbing his ears until they were numb to the sensation, Inuyasha is finally able to have his ears rubbed without cracking up, and the men from the village approach. Someone yells at her to explain what she is doing. A stage hand sarcastically mutters next to the camera, "Well, if you really want to know, from this angle, it looks-"

The cameraman stops him. "Don't finish that. Don't even think about finishing that. Don't even thinking about thinking about finishing that."

"...What? I was gonna say it looks like...y'knw..."

"Oi!" The director's voice cuts it. "That camera is _on_, you know!"

Scene 6: Kagome is tied up and brought to the village, where Kaede comes and discovers she is not a kitsune, and that she looks like Kikyo. They have dinner together.

Take 2: Kagome is dropped in the village, and a large crowd of people gather around her, commenting on how she is a spy or a kistune. A crowd near the camera, as Kaede approaches, begin to gossip about Kagome's makeup. "I know, her makeup artist is talented...I'm glad she wears it, though, I'm sure that without it she's quite ugly." Kagome grits her teeth slightly.

"Oh, I know, all the young girls today are looking ugly! Do you know what happened to them?"

"No idea, no idea...poor children, though, it must hurt their self-esteem to be so ugly..."

Kagome turns and glares at the women. "_I'm not wearing makeup_!"

Take 5: Kaede approaches Kagome, still looking slightly angry about the whole eye thing, even though it had been Kikyo. She grabs onto Kagome's face tightly, still with an angry expression. She mutters her lines angrily, and begins examining her face roughly. Kagome winces, and then blinks as Kaede sighs. "You're not the wench who put out my eye..."

Filming takes a break for a few days while another Kaede is found to take the place of the deranged one.

Take 6: The new Kaede is a little nervous, but performs her part well. She wraps up the part with Kagome still being tied up, and there's some clapping off to the side as the cameramen get ready to go to the new location. Inuyasha comes in later-he had been up the night before arguing heatedly with Kagome and had slept it-and spots the new Kaede he stares in shock for a few moments and then begins laughing. "She's even _uglier_ than the old one!"

Kaede turns slowly and glowers at Inuyasha. "Oh...I'll get you for that, boy."

Thus began the war between Kaede and Inuyasha.

Take 8: After untying Kagome and eating a little, Kagome sneezes. Kaede and Kagome blink, and Kagome screams and throws the bowl across the hut. "Oh _no_! I can't be allergic to this too!"

Take 9: Although Kagome shows no other reactions, she insists that Kikyo takes part of the scene. Kikyo finds this somewhat amusing and has a slight smile throughout Kaede's memories. Kikyo eats the soup calmly, nodding and then asks Kaede if they were in Tokyo. Kaede nods and says, "Yes, dear."

Kikyo stares at her in confusion. Inuyasha starts laughing off the set again. "Remember your lines, you old hag!"

Kaede grits her teeth. "Oh, shut up, dog boy!"

"_Oi_! Who you calling dog boy?!"

"You, the one with the _dog ears_!"

Kikyo blinks a few times and looks at Kagome. "...Please, you can talk to them. Do something, will you?"

Scene 7: The centipede demon attacks the village, and Kagome runs towards the light of Inuyasha's forest. He awakens when she gets near. Kagome then falls and is attacked by the centipede. It pulls on her, while she pulls on Inuyasha's hair, but she blasts it again and some of its arms come off. The Shikon bead inside her glows and the centipede tosses her in the air and bites it out of her. She lands and is crushed again the tree while the centipede begins to ingest the Shikon jewel. She removes Inuyasha's arrow, who then immediately defeats the centipede demon. Kagome picks up the Shikon jewel, and the centipede dissolves. Inuyasha then threatens her, and it cuts to the end song.

Take 1: As Kagome and Kaede hear noises outside, and stumble out, they see the centipede demon, swinging around with a horse in her mouth and causing mass destruction. Arrows and various other things are being hurtled at her, and bouncing off her body. Abruptly, an arrow hits her, and she makes a pained noise and collapses on the ground, not dead but not moving, with and arrow embedded in her torso.

Kaede and Kagome move closer to investigate, and talk in low voices after removing the arrow, pointing in various directions, and arguing quietly. Finally, Kagome stormed over to the guilty archer and holds the arrow in his face. "What were you thinking, firing a holy arrow at a _demon_!?"

Take 3: After firing a series of archers who seemed to have actually been undercover demon exterminators who were slightly confused, filming resumes. Kagome realizes she is being targeted, and after recognizing the 'glow' around Inuyasha's forest, she begins sprinting off towards it. As she runs through the town, wondering if she can survive, she abruptly trips and falls flat on the ground. The centipede demon keeps going, since she can jump, and causes a big wind, which causes Kagome's skirt to-for once-lift to indecent levels. She shrieks, and screams 'Osuwari' out of instinct, multiple times until she is able to adjust her skirt. (A/N: Not that I want to even think about that, but it never does happen, and that skirt isn't long.)

Filming pauses for the day while they attempt to get Inuyasha to regain consciousness.

Take 20: After multiple filmings due to Kagome's inability to stay on her feet, she makes it to Inuyasha forest, where Inuyasha films his scene without a problem. Kagome stumbles into the clearing where Inuyasha is being held, and he begins taunting her, and talking about her being Kikyo. Kagome snaps at him, and he counters by saying that at least Kikyo was pretty. Then the centipede demon attacks again, and Kagome shrieks and grabs onto his hair. His eyes get really wide, and he starts yelling at her to let go. A few people are quietly chuckling off stage. As Kagome turns to blast the centipede with her 'mystical powers' again, her other hand slips and she lets go of Inuyasha's hair completely, lurching forward and hitting the centipede in the face. They both stop and blink, and then the centipede wails and huddles in a ball, while Kagome falls onto the ground. Inuyasha, whose head is still hurting, begins laughing, and slowly trails off to a groan. "Dammit...you two pull too strongly..."

Take 28: The scene is once again successfully filmed to the point of hair- grabbing, and this time Kagome holds on even tighter to his hair. Inuyasha is very obviously very unhappy with this, and is yelling with quite a good bit of character. Suddenly there is a loud ripping noise and a good chunk of one of the locks of hair is yanked from his head. The centipede pauses in surprise, and they both stare at Inuyasha. He stares at them in shock for a moment, and then glowers at Kagome. "...Ka...go...me..."

Kagome looks at the centipede. "Go!" The two take off, and Inuyasha begins screaming all sorts of impressive curses at the two of them, still firmly stuck to the tree.

Filming takes a break while people try to talk Inuyasha out of killing Kagome, who doesn't help by making faces at him.

Take 32: After a few more 'mystical powers' mishaps, Kagome blasts the centipede and then is tossed in the air, bitten, and pushed against Inuyasha. He convinces her to release him, and she does, despite the cries from the villagers and Kaede. As he's released, someone throws a pot at his head, hitting him dead-on. Once again, everyone stops and stares. The extra looks confused, and turns to a nearby friend. "...Wait...that's not in the script, is it?"

"That's a later episode."

"Oh."

"And that's not even the right half-demon."

"Oh."

"And you're not in the scene anyway."

"Oh..."

"And-"

"I get the point!"

Filming again stops as they try to convince Inuyasha that he really _shouldn't_ quit.

Take 35: After firing even more people and nearly causing the director a nervous break-down, Inuyasha is released and attacks the centipede demon, killing it in one hit. Kaede tells Kagome to hurry up and remove the Shikon Jewel from its dead body, which she does. It dissolves into dust, and she stares at the beast with confusion.

Kaede begins explaining to her what it does. Inuyasha steps forward and crunches a piece of bone, confirming it. Then, he suddenly stops, his face twisting in pain, and he yells-loudly, and pulls his foot off the bone, showing a piece of it sticking out. Many are amused as Inuyasha hops around with bone embedded in his foot.

* * *

So...how long overdue is this? A long, long time over due. My apologize, I know, I know...so sue me, all that good stuff...either way, here it is for your viewing enjoyment. Please review this-the more reviews, the more inspired I really am to continue a story.

This is Rina...until next time! -waves-

Note: No people were harmed in the making of this fic. Only demons and half-demons.


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